Mario
Mario J. Video is the brother of Luigi, a hero of the Mushroom Kingdom, and an enemy of Bowser and Wario. He is a plumber and an Italian-American, and likes to eat lotsa Italian-American food. He is most famous for his awful spectacular video game series, Super Mario. He is now considered the most idiotic popular video-game character in the world. He appears in over 100 video games and makes cameos in other video games like Tetris and Mike Tyson's Punch-Out. Biography Early Life Mario "Jumpman" Video was born on July 9, 1944 in Brooklyn, New York to Ruigario and Zaepy. His twin brother was Luigi. When Mario was a few years old, some fat guy and his wimpy brother yanked him and Luigi from the past and into the future, where they made him fight aliens, play sports, compete in races, and party endlessly. Mario was returned home later, but the time warp drove him insane. He later pushed Luigi off a cliff, and Luigi died. Shortly after, however, his parents had a third child, who they named after his deceased brother: Luigi J. Video. Ruigario and Zaepy were lousy parents who paid little attention to Mario or Luigi, so Mario's grandfather Buccio was largely responsible for his upbringing. Mario acquired a strong Italian accent in the process of learning how to speak from his grandfather. Mario grew his moustache in quite fast, and by age 6 he had a full moustache. The other kids made fun of him, and he had to keep going to the school administrators to figure out what to do. As a result, he did not learn much from going to school. In 1957, a teenage Mario met a young woman named Pauline. She became Mario's first girlfriend, and Mario's second friend after Luigi. Mario's parents died in a fire in 1962, the same year he barely graduated from high school. Early Careers Not wanting to find a normal job, Mario "adopted" a pet named Donkey Kong and decided to make money by forcing it to perform circus acts, but cruel treatment of the ape made it get angry and kidnap Pauline, and you know where things went from there: Mario jumping over barrels, using hammers, and climbing ladders of disorienting buildings. Mario managed to recapture the ape, but the ape's son soon arrived in Brooklyn, beat up Mario, and freed his father. The apes then kidnapped Pauline again, prompting Mario to chase them around the world. Mario was drafted into the U.S. Army in 1965, shortly after the US entered the Vietnam War, and was assigned to transport explosives to troops on the front lines. After a few months, he was removed from actual combat due to his habit of panicking and running back to his outposts with his cargo whenever it was set off by the enemy. Back home, Mario found work as a carpenter, but Donkey Kong and his son were continuing to harass him, frequently breaking into his apartment to steal his stuff. Mario finally tried to make amends with the Kongs by inviting them to join his ice hockey team. The Kongs agreed, but when the team lost its first game, the apes killed the entire winning team in rage. The Kongs fled the country to avoid prosecution, and Mario's team disbanded. After being discharged from the Army in 1969, Mario decided to go to medical school, where he became Dr. Mario (a more accurate name would be Dr. Video). However, he did not turn out to be very competent; all he would do was throw pills at tiny, colored viruses instead of helping the patients survive, so he was kicked out of the medical profession. In 1970, Mario decided to become a racer and drove cars along with Luigi. However, he would sometimes crash, as he found his vision blurred by the dirty car windows, which he never bothered to clean. Mario soon gave up on racing and ended up working with a wrecking crew, but was fired for assaulting his foreman. He got a job in a cement factory after that, but soon caused a number of accidents that got him fired again. He then appeared in pornographic films, for which he received the nickname "Mr. Pipe." As a result, Mario began to believe that he was destined for a career in plumbing, so in 1972, he entered a six-month course at Plumber's Academy, where he learned to plumb. Luigi also enrolled, and soon they were both fixing Brooklynian sewers in a business called Mario Bros. Plumbing. Adventures on Plit One day in 1977, Mario and his brother ended up getting sucked through a warp pipe to the world of Plit, where they landed in the Mushroom Kingdumb. There, Mario defeated the heroic Bowser Koopa and rescued the captive Princess Toadstool, the despotic ruler of the land. After beating Bowser again the next year, Mario was a wealthy man thanks to the thousands of gold coins he had collected during his adventures on Plit, so he returned to Earth with Luigi, closed their plumbing business, built his own castle, and founded a racing tournament. He also became involved in sports like golf and tennis. In 1980, Princess Toadstool summoned Mario back to Plit to aid the Mushroom Kingdom's allies in Shyguyland, where Mario defeated Wart by throwing vegetables at him. In 1981, Mario accepted an invitation from Luigi to visit a mansion Luigi had recently won. However, the mansion turned out to be haunted, and King Boo imprisoned Mario in a painting when Mario arrived before Luigi. Luigi eventually freed Mario, but Mario held a grudge against Luigi, and as a result, Mario worked alone for the next few years. Later in 1981, Mario traveled to Sarasaland and saved Princess Daisy from the time-traveling alien Tatanga. Even later in 1981, Mario went back to Earth to meet with Nintendo and arranged for them to adapt his ongoing adventures as video games. His first game, Donkey Kong, was released that summer and was a huge success, making Mario even richer. Mario returned to his castle after that, only to discover that his clone Wario had seized the place. Mario soon drove Wario out, but because of the many death-traps installed by Wario, the castle was condemned by the state of New York and demolished. Mario subsequently purchased and moved into a vacation home just outside of Toad Town, the Mushroom capital city. Mario began acting as a boxing referee around this time and would continue to do so throughout much of the 1980s. Mushroom War Mario finally decided to move from Earth to Plit after his grandfather Buccio died in 1984, and he officially became a citizen of the Mushroom Kingdom in the following year. Around that time, he met a fairy named Wanda, with whom he had a daughter, Rosalina. Starting in 1985, he and Luigi also fought in an all-out war between the Mushroom Kingdom and the Koopa Kingdom. In 1988, the Princess asked Mario and Luigi to overthrow Bowser's seven children, the Koopalings, who had taken over seven kingdoms. The brothers succeeded at this, only to discover that Bowser had kidnapped the Princess again while they were busy. They then invaded the Koopa Kingdom, defeated Bowser again, and rescued the Princess again. In 1990, Mario, along with the Princess and Luigi, took a vacation to Dinosaur World to avoid dealing with the Mushroom Civil War. Shortly after their arrival, the Princess was once again captured by Bowser's minions, and the Mario brothers defeated Bowser and his children again with help from Yoshi before freeing the princess. When Mario returned to Earth again, he discovered that Dic had launched multiple Mario-themed television series during his absence. Mario then launched a lawsuit against Dic, bringing about the end of Dic's franchise. After that, Mario returned to Plit and continued working with Yoshi; the pair opened a cookie bakery in 1992 and participated in an invasion of Jewelry Land in 1993, where Mario–believe it or not–used a gun. Mario's incompetence started to become impossible to ignore around this time. Later in 1993, Wario incapacitated Mario by dropping a bucket on his head; Mario failed to get it off on his own and ended up wandering around aimlessly for days. In 1995, Mario went to Eluryh to represent the Mushroom Kingdom at the first meeting of the Trinited Nations. However, he ended up offending King Harkinian of Hyrule, and security officers arrested him for carrying mushrooms. As a result, the Mushroom Kingdom was barred from representation in the organization, and Mario was banned from it for life. Then, in 1996, Mario was captured by Bowser and imprisoned in a painting while visiting the Princess for cake. This time, Yoshi had to save Mario. Embarrassed by his recent failures, Mario decided to pursue a position in the League of Fire. Although he managed to burn down Princess Toadstool's castle in 1997, he was rejected. Form Wars and Beyond In 2014, Mario helped Luigi in a scheme to get revenge on Mama Luigi, which quickly escalated into the infamous Form Wars. Mario ended up serving as a colonel in the Pure Army and personally killed many of his forms, including Bronx Mario and Queens Mario. While Mario survived the war, he was not as lucky during the Poopocalypse of 2019, where he failed to defend the Mushroom Kingdom from the troll menace and died in the process. However, by arranging an alliance with Evil Link, who was then in charge of entrances and exits from the pit, he was able to return to life. Along with Cyborg King, he then helped I.M. Meen defeat Mays Billy, bringing the Poopocalypse to an end. Not long after the Poopocalypse ended, Princess Toadstool was overthrown and killed by the Mushroom populace. Mario immediately ran for the presidency of the new Mushroom Republic, but Luigi won instead thanks to widespread voting fraud. Luigi then accused his revived brother of merely being a form and not the "real" Mario, resulting in Mario's banishment from the country. Enraged, Mario then launched an insurgency against the Mushroom Republic. He later allied with Evil Link to wage war on the nations of Plit, and in the power struggle that ensued after Evil Link's sudden death in 2040, Mario seized control of Link's army of Gay Luigi clones and used it in an unsuccessful attempt to take over Hyrule. Death and Afterlife See Mario's Ghost and Mario Head. Mario died again in 2048, this time of disease. Due to his history of time travel, Mario was physically 106 years old, not counting the time he had spent as a ghost, even though he died "only" 104 years after his birth. Mario's body had deteriorated too much for him to be revived in full again, but Luigi managed to clone his head and send it back in time, creating Mario Head. His ghost also remained active well into the future. Forms *Fat Mario *Brooklyn Mario *Stupor Mario *Crazy Cat Mario *Dr. Mario *Illegal Mario *Anime Mario *Queens Mario *Bronx Mario *Mario Mario *Supermarioglitchy4 *Mario Mario Mario Personality Main Article: Nothing Appearance Until 1988, Mario's signature outfit consisted of red overalls and a blue shirt, like Brooklyn Mario. However, this color scheme has since been reversed, and now his overalls have pockets. He has always worn a red hat and has a black moustache, brown hair, and blue eyes. He also wears white gloves and brown shoes. Abilities Mario is a descendant of Fortran, which probably has something to do with Mario's various superhuman powers. Mario is much stronger and tougher than a typical human and can jump great heights and distances. He is also immune to most types of radiation, giving him a natural affinity for space travel and time travel. Mario is a frequent user of time travel and Time Machines, making him a major problem for the Time Travel Police. Relations with Other Characters Gallery See Mario/Gallery Quotes *"It's-a me, Mario!" *"Woah!" *"Ouauauauauauauauauaohohohoh!" *"That's nice!" *"D'oh!" *"Ha ha!" *"OOOF!" *"Oh yeah, Mario time!" *"Just what I needed!" *"Hm?" *"Mama mia!" *"Let's pickle!" *"So long, gay Bowser!" *"Mama f***a!" *"Thank you so much for playing my game!" 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